Dazzled
Crush
April 2, 2018Eyes
April 4, 2018
I see her sitting in front of me, her legs tense, her body stiff. The masseur in me fantasizes her to lie down on the bench. While I am having my random masseur fantasy (purely platonic), I notice the book that she is holding- Butterfly Skin by Se…. It’s a pain to travel in the metro, you can’t even read two words without being shaken to the core. Urgh! How is she able to hold that stare for so long? The book seems gripping. I see something falling out of the book.. a ticket probably. The lady in red skirt doesn’t pay any attention. Her red dress, just perfect texture rubbing against the perfect skin. Not like porcupine men I have to massage every day.
The train comes to a halt. Few passengers get down and some get in.
I too get down, only to re-enter from the other door and slide just next to her. O, boy! She smells so good. She looks at me. Can she read mind? No, relax, she can’t. She smiled. What’s that phrase? This smile can sail a boat, or was it this smile can launch a thousand ships? I smile back. She looks ethereal in the red skirt. I feel dizzy.
“What happened?”, she asks. “Sorry?”, I reply getting closer to her. “What happened, you were sitting there, right?”, she caught me. “Oh yeah! I was”, I managed. “I just wanted to sit here”, I stammered. “Why?”, she asks again. A tough nut. Isn’t she something? “Just to see”, I was about to say ‘you’. I guess she thought I was talking about the view.
“Oh I see, you new here”, she asks in the most mellifluous voice I ever heard. How I wish to keep listening to her, always. “Yes”, I lied. “Do you wanna see around? I am a local”, she asked biting her lips. “Absolutely”, I answer. I notice a butterfly on her shoulder. I am dazzled by her enigma, her fragrance. The train stops and I follow her out.
The train comes to halt at the last stop. Every passenger deboards. Only a ticket lies on the floor, which reads- “The butterfly lady dazzled the masseur, he was trapped.”
Read my previous posts for #BlogchatterA2Z – Crush, Blueprint, An Archaic world
0 Comments
Such a layered post, so many connotations but I am going to derive my own. You are a brilliant writer, Priya. I am so enjoying your posts!
Thanks a lot Mayuri. I am humbled. Your words mean a lot. Made my day 😘
Nice ending! Love it
Debbie
Thanks a lot Debbie 😘
Intriguing plot!
Thank you
What a climax!! Loved it Priya!
Thank you Aesha!
Your stories have such innocuous beginnings, and then they take such an unanticipated turn at the end, Priya. BTW, have you read Edgar Poe. This one resembled a lot like his style. Love it!
Thanks dear. I don’t remember reading Poe, may be in college one of his poems.
any specific one u have in mind? Will look up.
The climax came to me at 10 pm last night, when I was making my kid sleep.. and I just added, changed the book’s name.. n viola.. surprised myself.
Ha ha, situations when ideas strike us. Poe usually wrote dramatic, sometimes horror stories.. do check his short stories.
Will do that
Nice story..keep writing
Thanks a lot
A very interesting post with a even more interesting climax. It is a really engaging read for all. Great article.
Thanks so much for the kind words
The first word that came to my mind as I read the last line… WOW!!
Your story created such a vivid imagery and loved the possibilities it created in my head. Great going!!
5 Reasons to Keep a Travel Diary #AtoZChallenge
Thanks so much Shilpa. Means a lot. Glad you liked it
This is so well written 🙂 It makes you visualize everything with the flow, and the last line just so perfectly done 🙂
D is Dumbfounded – Love is not my need
Thanks so much for your kind words😘
Such an enigmatic ending. The story’s beginning doesn’t give a clue where it’s taking us to and that’s a big win.
D is for Dependant
Thanks so much Varad!
[…] Read my previous posts for #BlogchatterA2Z – Crush, Blueprint, An Archaic world, Dazzled […]
Great story Priya!!
Climax is tooo good …perfect going on!!
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