The Last Words
20th Dec 2018 #TTT
December 19, 201827th Dec 2018 #TTT
December 26, 2018
Sitting by the grave, alone, he philosophically asked: “Why do we die?”
He imagined her turning in her grave, twice, and took a drag. He felt she was still alive. How could she just leave, without saying a goodbye? She had to die, after what she had done.
The karma took the revenge, he thought. She was his partner in crime. Without her, he felt lonely, life wasn’t fun anymore.
“You never wanted me to smoke. Guess, what? This is my last cigarette,” holding the gun in the other hand, he spoke his last words.
This post is written for Friday Fictioneer hosted by Rochelle.
50 Comments
Dear Priya,
Sad story with a very sad ending. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you, Rochelle. Absolutely loved the prompt
Grim tale
Thank you
He will meet her on the other side, hopefully! Macabre!
That’s likely to happen. Thanks, Abhijit
A desperate tale of grief here, Priya.
Just a thought, of changing: “How can she just leave, without saying g a goodbye?” to “How could she just leave, without saying a goodbye?”
I could definitely feel his raw grief in that line.
Best wishes,
Rowena
Thank you, Rowna. Fixed.
That’s what we’re here for and whenever I write something longer or important, I always run it by someone else because we often see what we believe is on the page and can miss what is actually there. That’s one of the things about being a part of FF…we edit and critique each other and in a kind manner.
Best wishes,
Rowena
Definitely. I love FF community. Thanks so much. Much appreciated, Rowna. Wish you a very happy new year
This is a chilling tale… I started to wonder what “partners in crime” was… maybe it’s not fun any longer when you have to face what you have done with no one to share it with.
True.. Several crimes committed. It wasn’t fun for him anymore. Thank you for your comment
Well done. The ending is quite dramatic, and perfectly stated.
It is indeed. Thank you for commenting, Linda
A sad surprising ending. He didn’t wish to continue without his “partner in crime” and maybe karma applied to him as well?
Definitely. Everyone pays the karmic debt, one way or the other. Thank you, Brenda, for commenting.
Oh no!
Well done — that punch line, though !!!
Thank you, Na’ama
Yikes! The way he says his last words seems like revenge in itself. Nicely done.
It surely does. They paid their karmic debt.
I never do understand people like that. But they are out there!
Of course, they are. You wish you never have anything to do with them. Thank you, Dale
Chilling and bleak tale, hope he finds peace at last.
Thank you, Anurag. I am sure he will get what he deserves.
He doesn’t deserve peace, I guess. Thank you, Anurag
Another dramatic ending. Another story well told
Thank you, Natasha. Wish you a very happy new year
A Bonnie and Clyde couple. Really liked this.
Yes, absolutely. Thank you so much
Together again!
Yes. Again.
Leaves us wondering as to what she did. A well told story.
They had committed some serious crimes together. And she had to pay the price.
Well told story.
Thank you
Wow! What a shocker, a sad tale no less for the New Year in Waiting. Great drama
I’m glad that you enjoyed the drama. Thank you.
I know that “I’m going with you” feeling well.. Very nicely written.
Not a great feeling, I know. Thank you, Violet. You found something to sympathize even with the antiheroes. I appreciate. 🙂
Not the prescription for quitting smoking that Most doctors would recommend!
Haha.. absolutely not. Thank you for commenting. 🙂
The grief in this is so strong it makes my eyes water.
I will say that I don’t think you need the word philosophically in that first line. It doesn’t really add much and compared to how smooth the rest of the piece is, it just sounds a little clunky.
Still a wonderful piece though.
I agree. I can do without that word. Thanks so much. I appreciate. And I am glad that you liked the story 🙂
Partners in crime, partners in life and now in death! Good story, Priya
Thank you so much, Anshu
🙂
So sad. Definitely very emotive.
Thank you, Lisa
Up in smoke…
Randy
Thank you
Thank you