Warning: This story has a paranormal plot. Reader’s discretion is advised.
She heard the disembodied voice calling her name. The question resurfaced Am I going insane?
The Sound of heavy breathing resonated amidst silence. A sigh escaped her lips and an echo returned with a distinctly familiar fragrance. The fragrance which she has breathed before- When? Where? She couldn’t recall. The pain in the voice reminded her of someone- just like the scar reminds of the wound.
The voice haunted her in her solitude, it followed her like a shadow. Often at midnight, she woke up by the whispering of the voice. Often she heard breathing noises just near her ears when she was around people as if to remind her of its existence. Who was it? Maybe a departed soul wanted to send across a message?
On the rare occasions when she met friends and laughed the voice in her ears became brittle- almost on the verge of crying. Neither anyone heard the voice nor they noticed her goosebumps.
Till one day… it all stopped. All the time she had prayed for it to stop and finally it did. The disembodied voice was gone. It became so quiet that she could hear her blood rushing through the veins. She wanted to rejoice yet she was scared. What if it comes back?
A couple of hours later, getting accustomed to the silence, she filled the bathtub with hot water. While happily humming, she took a scrub and rubbed on her face. The mist started to rise. She splashed water on her face, and when she looked up she saw a handprint on the fogged mirror. Without giving much thought, she wiped it clean. Long warm bath soothed her senses.
As she stepped out of the bathroom, she saw the walls smeared with bloody handprints.
The house filled with a scream. The disembodied voice had become her voice.
(c) 2018 Priya U Bajpai
‘I am taking my Alexa rank to the next level with Blogchatter’.
Read my previous posts for Alexa – By The Placid Lake, Come away with me…, Fear.
125 Comments
Chilling!
Written very well. The scare in the story grows till it explodes.
Thanks, Sona. Have vivid graphics in my mind. 😉
I love reading your stories. This was thrilling Priya !
I am so glad, Leha. Thank you.😊
Wow! That was creepy. I am very wary of horror and am an extremely scared soul. And you have written this piece with so much realism. I hope no one ever has to go through such an experience.
Would you believe if I tell you, I am a scardy cat myself. 😉
Not the genre I like to read or watch but I do like to experiment. Thanks, Anupriya😊
Wow , it’s really beautiful
Penned well
Enjoyed reading
Liked it
Keep sharing 💙
Thank you, Akshaya
Spooky.. Pri at her best as usual.. was she possessed?
Thanks, Aks!
The voice had a way of manifestation. That day it chose to manifest by becoming her voice. Who knows what happens the next day?
Like to experiment and try my hands at different genres. Most of the genres I have tried. And each has it’s own beauty.
Woah! Very intriguing story. Kept me hooked till the end.
Thanks so much Deepa. I am glad you liked it. 😊
I was all eyes until the end of the story! Nice narration.
Thanks, Sanjota. I am glad you enjoyed the narration. 😊
Thrilling story Priya! Could visualise and was thinking what will happen next when she comes out after Bath. Loved it!
Thanks, Surabhi. I have a second part in mind, let’s see if it works out. I am glad you like it.😊
quite an interesting story. I like your writing style.
Thanks, Tina. I am delighted that you like my writing style. Thanks so much for the compliment.
Very nice story, thrilling one and nice finishing.
Thank you, Jyotirmoy. I like your name. It is unique.
I. Glad you liked the story😊
Scary! Won’t be able to take this story out of my mind for long:)
Loved it!
Thanks so much, Aditi. I hope you don’t think about it at night. If you get time, do read ‘come away with me’. It will give you something else to think about. And I am sure you will enjoy it. 😊
I got chills in my spine while reading this one. The horror gapes through the words. Beautifully penned. #MyFriendAlexa #MayuraReads
Thank you, Mayura. I am glad you liked the story. Trust me, it wasn’t easy to write this and be done with it.
Keep the momentum, it’s thrilling. But too short to kill we curious cats…
Lol, I have an idea to take it forward. Let’s see if I can express in words to satisfy curious cats😉
Thanks , Maheshwaran.
What does this disembodied voice represent? Her own self or something mysterious that is trying to live in her body? It is no doubt spooky. Nice story.
It’s someone she knows. Thanks, Abhijit for commenting. I am glad you liked it. 😊
That’s so well written Priya, Quite scary though
Thanks, Gunjan. It wasn’t easy to write this and not think about it.
This is thrilling… loved it but with the goosebumps
Lol. That was the idea. 😉 Trust me, even I have goosebumps when I think about it. Thank you😊
Wow… Spooky
Thank you.
Very nicely written.
Thank you.
Creepy. Love the imagery you are able to depict.
Thanks so much, Roshan. I am glad that imagery worked.😊
That was chilling. Starts off on a scary note and the continues with increasing fear quotient and finally leaves you chilled to the bone. Not a story for the weak-hearted. Loved it! #MyFriendAlexa #JaiSReads
Thanks, Jaya. When I read your comment, I realized that I haven’t put the warning. Thank for reminding me.
I am glad you liked it.😊
A thrilling story that actually sent a chill down my spine. Very well worded, intriguing and I enjoyed the twist in the tale. Keep writing!
Thanks so much, Prerna. I am glad that you enjoyed it. It is the second time that I have dabbled in paranormal story. You won’t believe but I am a scardy cat 🐈. My muse loves to scare me, I guess😉
Spooky☠️☠️☠️
Thank you.
Spooked out! Great writing!
Thanks so much, Janani
You have smartly started with a soft and subtle way on the role of the mystical voice, the inner call which is like a conscience keeper. There are events and incidences which we would have faced in our earlier years keep coming and haunting us. But the question of how much realism and where to infuse the facet of magic realism is an art, and your description of the bathroom scene is tactfully done. The warning was a good way to set the tone and tenure of the story unfolding…
😀
Thanks so much, Nihar. As a writer, I loved your comment. You have analysed the story wonderfully. This is the kind of comment the writers/bloggers wait for.
I always believe that the writer ceases to exist once the story is written. It does not matter what I thought when I wrote it. The imagination of the reader takes the story to a different height. Thanks so much once again😊
Blogging is not just about writing, it is so much about the reading we do, and this is such a wonderful place where there is confluence of mind that think alike and also there is that melting pot where the differences get seamlessly ironed out…
Priya, stories are like living beings where we can associate and establish a subtle relationship but it all depends on how we conjure up the imagery and navigate our clouded emotions that keeps our motions in tenterhooks.
Readers are an intangible extension of our writing arm where they create a bridge that connects to our broken mind and then that becomes the defining moment in the way we think and write thereafter…
😀
You are every writer’s dream, Nihar. Loved your comment. I would have written a post with these awesome words and ideas😉. Looking forward to read your work. ‘stories Are like living beings’.. too good.
Thanks so much.😊
Priya, I am humbled with such a delightful comment from you and your writing has so many different perspectives to simulate, it stimulates and there is a new window to look at the things around us…
Always a pleasure to explore and engage such lovely writings.
😀
Thanks again
Oh, enjoy a lot
Thank you for reading
Scary! You have a way with words Priya. I can imagine the scene playing before my eyes and hiding beneath a pillow.
Thanks so much for your kind words, Rashmi. I am glad you liked it. I would have read the same way😉
i liked your previous post lake placid too… scary story
Thanks so much, Richa. I am delighted that you liked both the stories. 😊
‘Reader’s discretion’ warning already scared me but I still wanted to read this! Now I can’t wash my face with closed eyes and guess what… I want to read more!
Aww.. hugs, Rashi. Part 2 will be up soon . Don’t read at night. 😊
Oh! Thanks for the warning 😉
😊😊
Wow..I got goosebumps
Thanks, Shail.
This is a chilling read. Would you write a sequel? Need to know what happened next. 😀
I wrote a sequel today. Should up tonight. Word of advice- don’t read at night😉
Now I have to wait till it strikes 12.00 AM to read the sequel. 😀
It’s out, Jheelam. 😊
Hey Priya , you have mastered the art of story telling. Till the end no one would have guessed of what happened. Just when the protagonish as well as the readers are relieved that ‘All;s well ‘, now and then the chilling end. #MyFriendAlexa #SujatawdeReads
Thanks so much, Sujata. You are too kind. Part two will be go live tonight. Incase, you want to read.
I am horrified of horror stories Priya. I could feel the goosebumps at the end. If I linger here any longer it shall haunt me at night
Namratha from #firstgreenstep #MyFriendAlexa
I am a scardy cat myself, Namy. I wonder how I could write it. I was on the edge of my seat while writing and a slightest sound started me. Thanks for reading and commenting 😊
Must say very well written, like the way of your writing 🙂
Thanks so much, Priyal. I appreciate your comment. 😊
Very chilling story. Had me.hooked onto the end. Great effort.
Thanks, Sukris. I am glad you were hooked. Part 2 coming up tonight,😊
This was very scary .I.am not a horror story fan but your writing has mafe me curious.Spinechilling!
Thanks Amrita. I am not a horror fan either. But somehow it is easier to write than to read.
Spooky!! I enjoy watching horror and thrilling stuff. Got bit confused in the end. Well written though.
#MyFriendAlexa #momlearningwithbaby #Blogchatter
I am glad you enjoyed it. Part 2 will be up tonight. Thanks so much for reading and commenting 😊
Wow! Love the chills and the thrills.
Thanks, Huma for reading and commenting
Thrilling story. Kept me on my toes as I was reading. Loved the way you narrated it.
Thanks so much, Purba. I am glad you enjoyed it😊
Ohh, this was creepy and intriguing. Very well crafted, glued me till the end.
I am glad that liked it, Vartika. Thanks for reading and commenting
I’m seeing a different side of you Priya through this challenge. You were amazing in mystery but you are in a different level when it comes to horror. I’m glad I read it now and didn’t keep it for the night.
Like to dabble in different genres. I didn’t know I could write horror too. Thanks, buddy.
I love to read horror stories but I am hell scared of them as well. I got goosebumps while reading, the end was quite intriguing, would love to read more of it. Loved your writing style!
Thanks so much, Neha. If you want to read more, tonight voice part -2 will go live. Don’t read at night though.
Priya, your story left me with goosebumps. The ending was unexpected and chilling. Being a thriller writer myself, I love going through pieces that deal with such themes. Here’s to many more such stories!
#DeepTiesReads #MyFriendAlexa
Thanks so much, Deepti. Do share a link of your thriller story, if you will. . 😊
I got the creeps reading that. New writing genre? Well done!
I have dabbled in horror before, Lavanya. Though I stay away from this genre, but I write if muse forces me to.😉
That was a real creeeeeeepy muse you had
Guess so😀
Its an eerie, scary yet thrilling story, Vividly narrated. Loved the way you have weaved. Excellent!!
Thanks so much, Tina. You are too kind. 😊
Oh my! This is so creepy. I’m scared of paranormal things. I believe in spirits and I stay away from stories like this. I must say, this is so well written. You have a flair for stories.
Would you believe if I tell you that I stay far from horror stuff as well? I am a scardy cat. Writing horror isn’t as scary as reading it. Thanks so much for reading and commenting.
Loved it! That last phase of the story where the mixed feelings of anticipation and relief bring the flow of the story a tad lower to throw it back as a crescendo ending with a scream was just BRILLIANT!!! #readbypreetispanorama for #MyFriendAlexa
Thanks so much, Preeti. Do read the next part if you enjoyed this one. It goes live tonight. 😊
that was a thrilling story!!
Thanks you, Roma
Haha! For being someone who can’t stomach horror, you’ve pulled it off Priya. This was a nice bit of horror with a little psychological jiggery-pokery added in for good measure. Loved it. 😀
Lol. I know, right. I surprised myself too.
I saw a handprint on a mirror. And I knew I had to write a paranormal story. I am glad that you enjoyed it. Thank you 😊
Another masterpiece from a master storyteller. Enjoyed the spookiness of the story. Description was also so vivid. Loved reading it dear.
Thanks so much, Jaya. You are a sweetheart. 😊
Woah! Intense narration.
Thanks so much for the comment
Oh my! This is spine chilling spooky, Priya! Now, I will look for signs of handprints on the fogged mirror everytime I take a shower. Loved your narration. Also I guess we all think of anything paranormal as troubled souls who have still not crossed the light. Would want to read part 2 too!
Thanks so much, Anshu. First time ever,on public demand 😉 part -2 is up on the blog.
So read and let me know how you liked it.
Sure…hopping over now! 🙂
[…] Author’s note: This is the second part of the story. You can read the part 1 here. […]
I liked how you built the story! the ending wasn’t something I was expecting!
I;m glad that you liked it, Veena. Thanks for commenting.
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Spooky one. Heading for part 2 now.
Thank you. I hope you liked it.
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